WORDS FROM OUR PASTORS

WORDS FROM OUR PASTORS

WORDS FROM OUR PASTORS

God's Design for Marriage

Preaching on God's Design for Marriage (Eph 5:22-33) has been one of the most difficult sermons that I have prepared in my short time preaching. As I prepared, I kept looking back at the five years of marriage that God has blessed Angie and I with and examining it in light of the passage, thinking of areas where I have to grow and improve. 

The Apostle Paul begins this section on God’s design for marriage with a call for wives to be subject to their own husbands (5:22-24). Oftentimes, reading this section on submission leads to a number of questions (What does it mean to submit? Does submission imply inferiority? Do I have to submit in everything? Are there any exceptions? etc). As we walked through the text, we were able carefully answer these questions, however, even with these questions answered, the wife’s high calling to submission remains a very difficult calling and requires great humility. 

Thankfully, we have the example of Jesus Christ and His submission to God the Father (John 6:38), as He humbled Himself to the point of death on the cross (Phil 2:5-8) in order to save sinners such as you and I. As you seek to be obedient to God’s high calling of humble submission to your husband, you can find great joy in knowing that as you do, you are also growing in likeness to your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, while also enabling God to glorify Himself through the two of you in ways that you could not have glorified Him as an individual. As you seek to fulfill the wife’s high call of humble submission to her husband, remember, this can only be accomplished as you seek to be filled with the Spirit (Eph 5:18).

In God’s design for marriage, the husband is given the high calling to love his wife. This love is not an emotional feeling, nor is it based on circumstance and how lovable you may find your wife at a particular moment in time. This love differs greatly from the love that is so often practiced in our society: a love that has been reduced to an emotion and feeling that comes and goes, a love that is measured by how much money is spent on a particular gift, meal, or vacation, a love that elevates one or a few special days during the year. The love that Paul is calling husbands to is an unconditional love characterized by sacrifice (5:25), willful decision, desiring her sanctification (5:26-27), that nourishes and cherishes her as his own body (5:28-30), and is permanent (5:31). 

As we've gone through this passage in Ephesians, you may be like me, in that you can’t help but examine your own marriage in light of God’s design for marriage. If so, you've also come to the realization that as sinners, we all miss the mark and have room to grow. 

  • Wives, what areas do you find difficulty submitting to your husband and trusting in God? Share these with your husband, so that he can be sensitive to you and help encourage you as you follow God’s high calling for you to humbly submit to your husband. 
  • Husbands, is your love for you wife limited to when she is nice to you or you want something? Is it demonstrated only through material gifts and seen mainly on her birthday, Valentine's Day, and your anniversary? Strive to practice a love that is unconditional, sacrificial, and willful, desiring her sanctification, while nourishing and cherishing her as your own. Ask her how you can better love her.
  • Husbands and wives, recognize that fulfilling this calling for your marriage requires great work and effort, however, the most important  component is being filled with the Spirit (Eph 5:18). Finds ways that you can seek a Spirit-filled marriage.